Wednesday, May 25, 2011

My visualisation of God.......

Our thoughts and beliefs; normative, interactive, cognitive or psychic are shaped and moulded in due course of time by our parents, the circle of people we come across in the society in which we are being brought up and the education we get. When a child for the first time asks it's mother about the identity of God, the mother points out towards an image which she believes on as God. The child's innocence also accepts all what her mother says as the ultimate truth.This seeding of belief in the child makes it a theist, a believer. 

My mother and grand mother used to tell me a lot of mythological stories about different incarnations of lord Vishnu in my childhood. The heroic characters of Sri Visnu made mind love him as the supreme creator and protector. I heard form my mother that Lord Visnu whom we worship as Jagannath helps those who surrender in distress and also he comes in many forms to help the one who calls him in utmost devotion. Then I was a small girl who studied in class- 5 in an Oriya medium school which was near about half kilometer away from our home. I usually accompanied with my friends while going to school and coming from school back home. While going with friends I faced no difficulty in crossing the Grand road (Bada daanda) which always remained busy with different types of traffic. But one sunny day I was alone to go home. That day there was heavy traffic of vehicles, I was waiting eagerly for the flow of vehicles to stop or slow down. But that didn't happen. Poor me after standing for near about half an hour carrying the heavy school bag, became nervous and hapless. Tears rolled on my cheek uncontrolled. I was too hungry and tired, but didn't ask for help from passers by as my parents told me not to talk with unknown persons. I stared towards lord Jagannath temple which was visible from where I stood. In my mind asked for help, and told.....you have to come to help me cross and reach opposite side of the road......Suddenly from the opposite end, a giant person in yellow attire came to me. Mildly he carried my hand and lead me to the other side. Before I could thank him, he vanished some where....to my utter surprise. It was my first visualisation of God...... I was carried away with great joy because it was first victory of my belief. I learned having faith on my belief......


Perception takes forms or shapes as per one's desire or requirement. Clouds float in open sky; different people see it differently. A farmer sees the desired rainfall in it, a bike rider assess the probability of his using rain coat that day, a child gets amused of a beautiful weather and dreams of floating paper boats, a poet sees a topic of his poems, an artist sees an art and a philosopher sees presence of divine in it. If a stone lies in a river bank, it is said to be a natural object which can be used as a building material or can be carved to make a statue. When a person puts sandalwood paste, kumkum and flowers on it, it becomes an icon of God whom we bow down. It is the perception which works as the belief. Here I am putting a beautiful story of a boy who wanted to see God......



"Once upon a time there was a little boy who wanted to meet God. He knew, it was a long trip to where God lived. So he packed his suitcase with a bottle of milk and loafs of bread. He started his journey. When he had gone a few blocks from home, met with an old man. The old man was sitting in the park near the water just staring at some birds. The boy sat down next to him and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a sip of milk, noticed that the old man looked hungry, so he offered him a bread. The old man gratefully accepted that and smiled at him. His smile was so incredible that the boy wanted to see that again, so he offered him some milk to drink. Once again, he smiled at him. The boy was delighted...... They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word. As it grew dark, the boy realised how tired he was, and he got up to leave; but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around and ran back to the old man and gave him a hug. The old man gave him his biggest smile ever. When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked her son: "What did you do today that made you so happy?" The child replied: "I had lunch with God. " But before his mother could respond, he added; " You know what, He has got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!!!! Meanwhile, the old man, also radiant with joy, returned to his home. His son was stunned by the look of peace on his face and asked: "Dad, what did you do today that made you so happy?" He replied: " I ate bread in the park with God." But before his son responded, he added; " You know, he is so cute and loving beyond my expectation." .........



The image of Lord Jagannath is so much convoluted with the social life of Puri that people think him more as a member of their families than God. Me too personally felt he is there being a part of my pleasure and sorrow. Like a compassionate friend he listened all that I confabbed. Never complained if I made him responsible for what I had lost.... I wanted ultimately to surrender my agonies, my grief, my inabilities........ and when I am given up, nothing is left with me..... even not me myself..... two drops of tears fall down, not through loosing but gaining; gaining all what even I didn't expect. Gaining a new vision, a vision of oneness, every time being in touch with his round eyes... I used to accompany my grand mother for near about twenty years to Lord Jagannath temple every alternate days. She was climbing the twenty two steps (Baaisi Paabachha) of Nilasaila holding my wrist., cause she had pain in her back. Lord Jagannath mayhap wanted both of us to be together, climbing the steps of salvation creating a purport bondage between both of us for lives together.

One day people were talking that Lord Jagannath was to dress as Nagarjuna, that year I remember was 1993. I wanted to see lord Jagannath in that attire as many of my friends were going. But my grandparents never let me go to crowded places. So they denied. That very morning I had a beautiful dream fulfilling my desire. I never did see Lord Jagannath's Nagarjuna attire before I had the dream. In that dream, I was alone in the main temple starring at constantly my dearest Lord and his magnificent image. My grandmother passed away in the year 2004 out of heart stroke at the age of 63. All the family members gathered at her home for tenth day of departure. One among my aunts was singing a devotional song of Srikrishna so beautifully that I was lost. Suddenly, I could not feel anything else beside odour of sandalwood, camphor, and Tulsi, I was totally lost somewhere beyond expression. When I got normal, cried aloud. All thought it differently but that was something else which made me more aware and matured in life...... I always feel blessed being showered with love and compassion of the people in my surrounding and for the beauties of nature my eyes can behold to make me aware of his presence all the time......

                                                             
                                    

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Sristi Yagyan

Recently I got an opportunity to attend a Yangna (sacrifice) of Purnahuti (terminating sacrificial ceremony) on the eve of inauguration of Lord Shiva temple near our home. The sacred fire was rising high as priests poured ghee (butter) and other sacrificial herbs into the pool of fire. The chanting of Mantras and rising of the sacred fire created a very elating feeling. The very moment I was thinking about "Yagyan" itself... and questions erupted in my mind, that "what could be the real meaning of Yagyan and why it is being performed as a sacred ritual"..etc.

Most of us know that Yagyan is the ancient ritual performed for the welfare of the mankind as a whole; the ceremony of sacrifice meant for some good result like welfare of the people, prosperity, good harvest, health, wealth and even performed now a days for victory of a cricket team in a specific match... But yet the real meaning of Yagyan that is known from its source of origin (Purusha Sukta of Rig Veda) holds quite a deep underlying meaning. The Sanskrit term Yagyan reads as (Yag + na) or self surrender, offering of everything starts from the Universal Male (the omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient, timeless Purusha Vishnu) only. He who sacrificed his own being the Virata Rupa (grand universal form) and allowed Bikara or transformation   for the Sristi or creation of the material manifestation of the world.

Vedas are supposed to be the ancient most scriptures of the whole humanity and the creator of vedic verses, the Rishis (Seers and sages) of Vedic age have been illuminating the spiritual facet of  human life for ages... I am a petty being to grasp the Vedas. Yet I love the Purusha Sukta and Devi Sukta of Rig Veda and its description rendered by knowledgeable persons in several sites. Although I find myself as an ignorant and paltry being like a bacteria under the roof of universe, I believe and imagine the vastness and pervasiveness soul while reading few verses of Purusha Sukta.                                                               

In Purush Sukta the term "Yagyan" has been defined through few beautiful verses in a lucid and broad way. The whole creation is a Yagyan. Creation is made from the Yagyan or sacrifices of the creator himself. The eternal Purusha or Supreme being, who is all pervasive; who is the cause of past, present and future; who is the cause of the creation itself; the one who is the cause of all causes too sustains the creation in the form of food. The food that all living beings take that transforms into life energy is nothing other than manifestation of the Supreme Godhead .... In Purusha Sukta there is mention of a mystical meditative process of self consumption of the supreme Godhead; Virata Purush Narayana for manifestation of the active universe, named as Sristi Yagyan.

Verse-6 (Purusha Suktam)

yatpurushena havishA | devA yajnam atanvata |
vasanto asyAsI-dAjyam | grIshma idhma Saraddhavi: ||

The Sristi Yagyan the sacrifice which brought forth the creation was the manifestation of the Purush or the greatest cosmic being. It is symbolically presented that as if a ritual of sacrifice is being performed in which the creative part of Purusha (Brahma) becomes the performer, in which the Purusha is havirbhokta or He who enjoys/eats the havis- offerings to the fire. His senses were the devas- the Gods, who were the ritvik-priests of this sacrifice. Nothing but himself existed to sacrifice and so he sacrificed himself (purusheNa havisha) as the offering into the cosmic fires. The cosmic fire is the heart of the Virata Purusha.... A sacrifice of his being to himself, for the creation of himself only... Spring become the ghee or clarified butter. It makes the meditative sacrificial fire rise high with all glory into the Purusha himself. Summer becomes the samidha or the sacrificial herbs and twigs which make the fire burning; the autumn make the offerings; the summer, spring and autumn being part of attribute-less Purusha.

Verse-8 (Purusha Suktam)

tam yajnam barhishi prokshan | purusham jAtam agrata: |
tena devA ayajanta | sAdhyA RshayaS ca ye || 8 ||

In this verse Purusha has been mentioned as a sacrificial beast who is bound by the Gods for sacrifice. He is to be purified with holy water while lying on a sacred bed of straw, . The word "Barhis" indicates this straw. Barhis also indicates "prakriti" or nature. In this sense, all of nature is the stage for this sacrifice, and Purusha the sacrifice to be offered. He was firstborn and foremost of creation. The word sAdhyA means the Gods those who have the potential of freedom from time, but have not yet actually achieved it. In the sense that SAdhyam indicates possibility of achievement.... All those who sacrifice the eternal truth for its manifestation in them.



Here a question may arise, is the Veda supporting animal sacrificial? My conceiving says a big no. The Veda and its verses are very much symbolic and mystical. Here everything happens in deep meditative super conscious plain. Now it's "Bikara" or "transformation" to be taken into consideration. In "Bhagavatam" dwitiya Skandha, panchama adhyaaya, on questing of his Saint-God son Narada, the creator sense of the Supreme being "Brahma" says, the Universe or creation manifested from Various bikararas (transformations) of the pure consciousness...


kAlAd guna-vyatikarah ----- parinAmah svabhAvatah
karmano janma mahatah ----- purusAdhiSthitAd abhUt

From the transformation of the Purusha, the eternal time and the whole material nature of manifestation took place. The transformation makes three modes of nature- Sristi, Sthiti and Pralay and three modes of attributes (Satwa, Raja and Tama). The vikara gives rise to dual aspects of material modes of creation; one being the positive the other negative. As long as there is the concept of day there must be the night, as the light prevails, the absence of light (darkness) also prevails. The creation always demands and tend towards a balance or equilibrium in both for its existence. The Sristi or creation for its survival would always struggle with the damaging forces (the negative consequences of Vikara) and would tend towards realisation of its universal conscious whole the Purusha. 

So the sacrificial beast (Purusha) mentioned in Purusha Sukta (verse-7) can be symbolically the violent detrimental forces (a beast may symbolise ignorance, cruelty, vice and crazy self destroying force) manifested through the sport of Purusha for the process of creation to continue as a constant swirling of attributes among souls with one another until realisation of its greater self or the undivided Purusha only. Is the ritual of animal sacrifice justifiable when we understand the muse symbolic implication of animal sacrifice in Vedic verse! In reality the Veda is all very abstract where the process of sacrifice Yagyan (Sristi Yagyan) happens at total consciousness (the purest of knowledge, the supreme being)... Thus the mention of beast sacrifice must be the process of purification of soul for greater realisation or consciousness. 

Verse 18

yagnyena yagnya-mayajanta deva: | tAni dharmANi prathamAnAsann | 
te ha nAkam mahimAna: sacante | yatra poorve sAdhyA: santi devA: || 18 ||

Meaning-

By Sacrifice did the Gods
Sacrifice to Sacrifice
By the fruits of this,
The first harvest,
Do the great ones
Ascend to where the Gods
The first ones,
Those who made straight the way 
are.

The Gods (the sense of Purusha) through this sacrifice (Purusha), sacrifice (Purusha) to the sacrifice(Purusha). The friuts of this Yagyan is the first harvest of righteousness that leads towards knowledge and pure bliss and causes souls their transformation.

In this verse, the importance of Yagyan has been beautifully mentioned... The Purusha sacrificed everything including his whole being only for a desire to transform non- being into being, unnamed into named, unknown into known. This desire alone gave rise to the sacrifice which in turn created the whole universe out of the bed of void. This is the sacrifice which is the beginning of everything and the righteousness (Dharma) associated in it the first ever Dharma "tAni dharmAni prathamAni Asan" (the dharma to love and sacrifice for a greater revelation...). Only these dharmas form the stairways of liberation of soul, the process of self realisation. 

I imagine, the sacrifice of the Supreme Purusha who is also present within me and within every morsel of the this universe.... I bow down to him and his selfless sacrifice for this creation. 

What I perceive with my little mind that the "Sristi Yagyan" tells- 
  • You are the creator, part of the Purusha. Create a burning aspiration, a desire, a passion within for self revelation.
  • You have to be ready yourself for the sacrificial ceremony within in which your whole being is to be sacrificed or to be devoted in whole.
  • The detrimental thoughts and sinful attributes would be the sacrificial beast which would be sanctified with water of conscience on the bed of your innocence.
  • Your devotion and love would be habis or sacrificial weeds
  • All your prayer, all your sacrifice would reach to the Purusha within you.
  • The fire of heart or your own wholesome eternal personality would rise high
  • The fruits of  this Yagyan would ultimately come out as the wholesome revelation of your pure personality leading you towards liberation. 

Saturday, May 21, 2011

As we sow so we reap

I came across a beautiful story on internet. The story follows as.....
"A son and his father were walking on the mountains. Suddenly, his son falls and hurts himself. He screams out of pain: "Aaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: "Aaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!" Curious, he yells: "Who are you?" He receives the answer: "Who are you?"
And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!" The voice answers: "I admire you!"
Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!" He receives the answer: "Coward!"
He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?" The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention." The man screams: "You are a champion!" Another voice answers: "You are a champion!" The boy is surprised, but could not understand. Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE. It gives you back everything you say or do. Our life is simply a reflection of our actions. If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart. If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence. This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life. Life will give you back everything you have given to it."

The moral of the story is..........."YOUR LIFE IS NOT A COINCIDENCE. IT'S A REFLECTION OF YOUR ACTIONS!". In truth the Newton's theory that "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction" is very much applicable in life too. What we think, say and do has a boomerang effect upon our life. The actions we do is surely reflected in our lives.

This is the natural law of the universe- "as we sow so will we reap". If we sow the seed of a mango, we get mango in return. If we sow the seed of a chilly, we get back chillis only and not mangos. Similarly, if we befriend, we will be befriended; if we love we will be loved. 

Family and friends enrich our lives more than any amount of wealth. We need to make continual investments of friendliness, affection and love to keep the system fully functioning. But we are all human beings and we don't love all the time. Sometimes we hate, and rebuke to our loved ones- may be we say things which we really don't mean, but it amounts to a withdrwal from the love account. What we take out, need to be redeposited as early as possible.

Similarly, hatred, jealousy, idleness and insincerity, all our negative traits have profound negative impacts on our lives. It may not be palpable soon. The effect may come later in different forms and shapes to engrave our lives. Effects of good deeds may also be subject to time and nourishment as caring a plant. We can't force a seed to grow immediately. We can't compel a flower to bloom either. These things depend on the seed type and condition of the environment. We should not get dejected and must not stop showing good seeds...... because the return must come in our lives may be sooner or later..........
Sometimes I wish- "Could my roads, lanes and town turn as beautiful and clean as told in a fairy land!", "Could there be no disease, no accidents, no slums, no beggars!", "Could this building be little smaller than mine to make me enjoy an early morning Sun!", "Could that person change his nature!" so on and so forth.... But shall my wishing alone be going to make any change?

I think all problem lies in human mind and all solution to soothe it in an appropriate way. There are numerous things happening around us or being part and parcel of our life against our own desire. But should these unavoidable circumstances or things lessen our spirit and zeal of living? Obviously not. What would be the result if we oppose the truth, if we deny to accept our own circumstances and fight against it? There will be a lot of discontent within, growling, frowning and ultimately loss of peace of mind with no solid solution.

Practically speaking we have limited or no control over the external forces. Weather forecasters forecast a good monsoon but if monsoon doesn't come they can't bring it from somewhere. Doctors try to make a diseased person back to life but not against God's desire. Every accomplishment needs hard work but every hard work does not assure great accomplishments. I certainly have limited control on the future happenings or the consequences of my actions. But at the same time I can't deny the action altogether for the risk factor involved in it. I have to face it, do it and act upon it with full control over myself only. Yes it is only "me" on whom I have control. I can act upon controlling my tempers, my detrimental thoughts, worries, meanness etc instead of poking nose to change outside events and natures. I might not like a persons behaviour but if I work on changing his/her behaviour I would end at making my behaviour still worst than the person whom I wanted to change. So it is always better not to try  changing other persons behaviour that we don't like through interference, nagging, advising, suggesting etc as we know it won't work at all.


Someone would have that ability to change outside forces only if he has remarkable control over himself. Mind is a little kid to whom the one would parent. When one makes a good parent of the stubborn and irritating mind it will be as calm and wise as to find befitting solution for the toughest most riddles in life, to change the most difficult persons around and the most ugly and unpleasant situations coming across....

Now, should I complain for the things I don't like; should I be unhappy for the unpleasant happenings not caused by me? If I desire to bring some change, I have to parent, teach and prepare my mind to be a better reformer rather than simply being a reproacher.... Isn't it?

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Those were the days
I had a golden wand...
to replenish
a little fall in heart....
I fluttered along....
to and fro
heaven knows....
for some secret joy....
along the busy crowd
of Badadaanda
may be that was
what I meant
Independent India..
what my grandfather
had in store for me.....

Today I walk on
the same route
although crowd
seems different...
Grandfather is no more...
but his gift is still with me
yet I have lost somewhere
my golden wand.....
that's why I can't
replenish every void
and don't flutter along
to and fro
may be,
I have lost interest
in the secret joy.....

For my Brother.....



O my unceasing beaming thought....
take me with your feathery soft breeze....
to the memory lane
where resides he.....
my Brother...

he says....
climb Himalayans with sanguine
and you pulled me back...
to plains.....
may be a long void beneath
separates our path...

he says....
you are true...
and you still could not convince me.....
about the colour of blotted mirror..
not only his but my face
looked hazy.....

I say......
many a times....
make my epistles wash out in Indus...
towards your skyline.....
and yet I don't know
what he did...

he was too anxious...
yet you could not convince me.....
how long it would take...
a river to form glacier.....
or the glacier to make my ocean.....

I am not in hurry........
waiting .........
waiting indefinitely...
may be that's my only folly...
but I swear I have seen...
you and him....
beyond any palpable envisage.....
ever and ever.....

Saturday, May 7, 2011

My first post- About a nightmare

I am going to write a blog which can record my various thoughts coming straight from heart... It surely would give me a lot of pleasure..... I am certainly going to initiate something good... Isn't it?


People would do all the auspicious deeds before initiating something; they would put incense stick , they would blow a coconut or chant some Mantra and pray before their favorite God.. But I did not do any such kind of deeds before writing this blog.. Do you ever do like this... But surely you hold good thoughts and hopes while initiating something good....

It is when I was in school I used to write the first few pages of my neat new copies in pretty good handwriting but subsequently when I have finished writing pretty big portion of the copy my handwriting would become careless and untidy .. And at the end, the copy must have been deformed, dirty and tore out. This is just an example...Usually it's a very common concept that a work seems interesting when we begin it but gradually interest in the work fades out.... Being swayed by the idea that "All that begins well ends well", we initiate something with a big bang of celebrations and emotions; for instance we do celebrate our marriage ceremonies with lot of investment of money and time.... But do all the marriages initiated with grand parties and celebrations succeed? Many of those turn strained due to intolerance and difference of opinion and sometimes do stick only for a year or two; then what's the fun in showcasing its first day with big parties spending huge amount of money? By the way I am not telling that initiating something with big emotions and celebrations is altogether bad or I am not doing so myself... I also like marriage ceremonies with big social gathering and grand parties... But I think whatever the starting may be but a persistent approach of beautiful tomorrow is always better..... So I believe whatever may be the beginning, their should be consistency in effort so that the end will be well.... I believe "All is well that ends well.." 

So I would prefer to write my first post rather with a trivial matter... I surely am not going to make a great beginning..... I would start with a nightmare that I had last night... It's true, for some days I am not very much satisfied with my performance, my approach towards a task...... Perhaps why I had a nightmare of unknown dead bodies... Although I had been indifferent to my pleasing dreams and nightmares since the days I became little mature in my thought, I wanted to get some meaning of my dream the very moment I woke up....... Thanks to Internet which solves many of my problems and answers many of my questions quickly to my expectations. I am moving from darkness to light, through the help of Internet.....yeah.. 

You know, once I was a person with full of dogmas and superstitions... Most of all, I was thanatophobic (a person fearing death). When I was in my childhood and youth, coming across a death made me depressed for several days not only because of the sorrow of someone being departed, but also I was foreseeing my death.... that is because of the realisation that everybody must die someday and also it would happen to me.... This fear in me probably made me superstitious... I do remember, while I was +2 while in a fun palmistry session one of my friends told me that since the lines of your left palm are broken, you would die soon. Although I took that easily at that moment, went on pondering upon her words afterwards. I observed my palm quietly for several days without telling the cause of my worries to my grandmother with whom I was staying then. My palms ultimately gave me knowledge...... Somebody from inside whispered "How beautiful your palms are! large, blush and deep .... why are you not taking advantage of your lovely palms instead of hooking to silly thoughts .. I wore a smile; soon all my fear vanished.. I went on watering the plants making those lively and fresh; I served tea to my grand parents, broomed all the houses, managed all my books, copies and homework... My Grandmother said what a magic.. and I thanked secretly to my palms. Till then I have been seeing and giving gratitude to my palms every morning soon after rising from bed. I do remember a Sanskrit verse that makes a lot of sense..........


Karaagre Vasate Lakshmi,Karamuule Saraswati.
Karamadhye Tu Govinda,
Prabhaate Kara Darshanam.




If all the opportunities, fortune and wisdom that lord Vishnu, Goddess Laxmi and Goddess Saraswati mean reside in palm, how folly it would be to think any inauspicious thing about palm...... !

Am I that timid what earlier I was? Obviously not, I have started thinking in terms of reasoning through collecting informations.. Yes I was talking about nightmares. I found the meaning of my nightmare as loss of any opportunity, complete seizure of a phase of life and beginning of a new phase; from several given meanings I choose the best suitable one for me... Now I think seeing "dead body" is a good dream, not a nightmare... Earlier I was mistaking... Life is full of opportunities; if one is missed the other will show its face. Old phase has to be seized unless how will the newer one enlighten me up? It's up to me only how I precept life; as a nightmare or as a sweet dream!!!